I was unhappy throughout as a  child and teenager. I hated life and didn’t want to live. My parents were constantly bickering over sharing household chores and finances. We didn’t have enough. We were 4 siblings – I was the oldest. I pretty much looked after my 2 younger siblings. I was struggling to balance my school life and home life. My parents were way too busy to acknowledge my presence or appreciate my contribution.  It was frustrating but I loved my siblings. Life taught me I need to take care of my loved ones even if it is at the cost of my own needs and requirements. When I was 16, I fell in love. Tony was very mature and understood me. He supported me and motivated me to have a life of my own too and that it is not being selfish if I also think of my needs. At 17 I started working. When I turned 18 I  moved out of my house and starting living at a women’s hostel run by an NGO. Living in the hostel and meeting likeminded and supporting girls uplifted me as a whole. I underwent therapy and participated in group therapy programs well. This helped me explore my feelings and patterns of behavior. I learnt new coping skills and techniques to better manage my life. Today I can say that I am happy. I am in touch with my siblings and still there for them

Anonymous
College Student
Europe

Since I could remember, I had been studying with my grandfather every weekend, without fail. We used to spend hours and hours on the same couch, in front of the same whiteboard, flipping through pages of the same book, and I was always just eager for a word of praise from him. I used to be scared to ask for a break, despite my stomach rumbling and my parched throat, because of his past outbursts. He used to ask me the same question every time: “Do you never want to be above average?”

Yes, I did. Indeed, I was confident of being above average, but I didn’t dare to say that. The man who wouldn’t let anything or anyone get in the way of his plans. The man who had such a strong patriarchal presence in our house that no one dared cross him.

The only respite I had after my marathon study sessions were my long conversation with my grandmother. In an effort to provide a crumb of solace, she would recount her own experiences growing up in pre-independence Kashmir with a disciplinarian father, not very different from my own grandfather.

I could draw parallels between our young lives. Her father and my grandfather were the same. And her timid response to her father’s unreasonable expectations mirrored my own cowardly attempts to please my grandfather. It didn’t matter that others had faith in my capabilities, the hours I spent bent over books, and the toll it was taking on me didn’t matter either. There was one source of constant denunciation among the ten voices cheering for me and somehow their collective voices couldn’t drown out that one voice that perpetually told me I wasn’t enough.

That wasn’t how I wanted to spend my life. That wasn’t the relationship and memories I wanted of my grandfather.
It was time my grandmother and my story diverged.

There was so much I had learnt from him. Despite the tears, frustration, and exhaustion, learning from him had forged me into someone who could push her limits, was aware of her duty and her responsibilities, and learnt never to give up. But I was ready to carve my own path now.

It was once again my grandmother who came to my rescue. Playing Billy Ocean’s “When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going” she encouraged me to speak my mind. It gave me the conviction to face the man I both feared and admired and tell him that I needed him to be my grandfather once again.

Anonymous
College Student
India

It’s difficult to pin point a particular incident but I think the pandemic caused immense anxiety. The fear of losing a parent or grandparent with the number of deaths around us was crippling. The anxiety and stress sacrificed my sleep. I woke up at odd hours, started controlling my family’s movements when they stepped out, felt low and lost my temper with people at home.

After carrying on like this for a few months, I was encouraged by my family to see a therapist and reluctantly I did. It started off with an awkward session where we tried to get to know one another but the subsequent sessions made me feel relieved, happier, and more conducive to feedback and advice.

Today, I feel less anxious, have better sleep, navigate my stress better all while being more sensitive

Anonymous
Grade 12
India